THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
