Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
