oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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