His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
