Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i would punch a child for taco bell
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
