we're blogging at a bar
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
And then my night got REAL pukey
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
