I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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