did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
