its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize