Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
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