well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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