I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
