He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
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We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
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I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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