At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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