I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
