ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
