I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize