It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
