I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Is it penis luge time yet?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
