looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We need a shit load of segways right now
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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