Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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