hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
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He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
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Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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