Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
