Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
