U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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