my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
