I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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