Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize