When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
