i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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