butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
