Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
