I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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