i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
If I die, sorry about rent.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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