See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
