plz talk dirty to me
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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