I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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