with your own penis?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Randomize