Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
