Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
