I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
