I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
So many bounce houses so little time
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize