Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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