dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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