Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Princesses don't give blow jobs
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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