She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
do nipples grow back?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
