I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
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Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
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I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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