Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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