just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
