Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
