I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
