***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Also, beer. Big fan.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Randomize
