I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
