I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
