If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
