Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
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i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
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Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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