Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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