Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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