her vagine was all disorganized.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
