Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
