a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
