Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
