I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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