"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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