I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
