I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
