You smell like stripper and shame
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
How naked do you want me to be?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
