hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I think people are normalizing furries
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
